Have you ever noticed how hard it can be to simply say what you truly feel — to tell the truth about what you want, what you need, or even what you dream of?
We speak easily about the weather, work, or weekend plans. But when it comes to saying, “This is what I really want,” suddenly a lump forms in the throat, a tightening in the chest, and a silent war begins inside.
I felt that war recently — the frustration of knowing what I want to say yet staying quiet. The anger that rises not at others, but at myself, for betraying my own truth.
And then I realized: this silence isn’t new. It’s inherited.
The Fear That Protects
Through a Family Constellation I did for myself, I discovered something unexpected. The “fear” I wanted to overcome was standing behind my truth — not against it. It wasn’t trying to silence me out of cruelty; it was protecting me.
It whispered, “If you speak too loudly, you might lose love. If you show too much, you might get hurt. If you shine, you might be rejected.”
That fear once kept someone in my family — maybe my mother, grandmother, or even generations before — safe. In their world, truth could cost connection, stability, or belonging.
So the fear was loyal. It said, “I’ll guard you.”
The Truth Is Bigger Than Us
The truth we hold inside can be immense — sometimes bigger than us.
It carries light, clarity, and power. But when that power meets fear, it creates tension — like a storm building pressure inside.
We often mistake that tension for weakness or guilt, but in reality, it’s a sacred threshold.
The moment before truth is spoken is where transformation begins.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.”
Marianne Williamson (from her book A Return to Love)
Integration, Not Elimination
Instead of trying to “get rid of” fear, I learned to acknowledge and integrate it.
Fear is part of our intelligence. It knows when to protect and when to alert us.
The work is to recognize:
- When fear is helping me stay safe.
- And when it’s interfering — holding me back from living authentically.
When we bring fear closer, with compassion, its grip softens. It becomes a quiet ally rather than a silent jailer.
Why We Hide Our Truth
Many people live years suppressing what they truly feel — anger, sadness, desire, longing — because honesty can threaten the fragile balance of relationships.
We’re taught from childhood: “Be good. Don’t upset others. Keep the peace.”
So we grow up negotiating between who we are and who others want us to be.
And the result? Inner conflict. Frustration. Sometimes even illness.
The First Step Toward Telling the Truth
Start small.
You don’t need to reveal your deepest secrets today. Begin with one simple sentence that feels true — even if it’s gentle, even if it’s incomplete.
It could be as small as:
“Actually, I’d rather stay home tonight.”
“I need time to think.”
“That doesn’t feel right for me.”
Each small truth strengthens your voice, your boundaries, your self-respect.
And when you finally speak what’s been buried, something magical happens — your body exhales. Your energy returns. Your relationships become more real.
Closing Reflection
Sometimes, fear doesn’t belong to you — it belongs to the women or men who came before you.
And sometimes, it’s simply your younger self, still learning that it’s safe to be seen.
Either way, the journey isn’t about fighting fear, but about standing beside it, hand in hand with your truth, and saying:
“Thank you for keeping me safe. Now I choose to live free.”
Blessings,
Dana
Level Up Living 
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